Tuesday, April 21, 2009

In the In-Between: Preparing & Waiting for IVF

With our recent decision to do IVF in August of this year, and knowing that today is April 21st, we're in somewhat of a holding pattern... waiting for "our" time. Really though - on the whole, three months isn't that long at all, especially considering we'll probably start some meds for our August cycle in July... at least I think. I haven't got a confirm back from my doctor yet as to which exact protocol I'll be on.

For now, I fully intend to use these next few months to prepare myself. Like, educating myself on the IVF process - what to expect, look out for and how to prepare for our cycle. Trying to eat a little bit healthier; basically cutting back on sweets and trying to incorporate a few new healthy foods into our diet. Exercise - getting in shape for pregnancy! There are plenty of little projects that need wrapped up around the house. Our old daily routine of getting up late and getting home late and never feeling accomplished is a thing of the past (and thank goodness, because it was getting so old!). No time like the present to build new friendships and strengthen the existing - good friends can never be taken for granted, especially in times like these. We have never needed more reason to stop and enjoy life and just destress - if ever I needed to learn to just "Let Go and Let God", it is now.

Speaking of, this statement has really been on my mind and heart these last couple of weeks. It's so easy (especially for me) to put tons and tons of energy and worry into something, when in reality a lot of things are just simply out of my control. The sooner I learn to accept that, the better off I, and my family, will be. I've always had a hard time depending on other people for things - don't ask me why. This has, unfortunately, translated to also having a hard time releasing things to God and letting him work in my life.

I can't tell you how many times in the past two weeks I've been given little reminders to Let Go and Let God, whether it was in something someone said, or a song I heard. I know this isn't a new, or even trendy phrase (though maybe it should be), but it's one that is very simple and true. When I say it I picture all of the stress and frustrations that I'm dealing and this literal burst, releasing all of the tension and worry that consumes me, with a little "ahhhhh!" at the end like I just stepped out of the spa! If I can just keep my focus on allowing Him to be in control of our infertility issues (and just life in general), I'm sure that I will be at peace more than I ever have before.

So, in case you were wondering, that is what I'll be up to these next few months. Pacing myself, enjoying the last month of spring & a few warm days of summer and keeping my eye on the prize :-)

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