New Doctors. Lots of Appts. Full Steam Ahead!

Boy do I have a lot to talk about this time around!

Meeting the new OBGYN
So, as you may remember, my last OB left the St. Louis area and left me high and dry. I had only been going to her for a little over a month. At first I was really bummed because I thought she was "the one" - she too only had one ovary and one fallopian tube, and she was able to get pregnant without too much trouble. However, at my last appointment with her, I realized she might not really know all of what she's talking about. She said she doesn't do mid-cycle monitoring while on clomid, so we had no way of knowing if my follicules were maturing properly the on the first round. She would also talk down to me a bit... more like giving me the look of "you silly girl"... which got old quick.

This idea of going to a new OB wasn't the worst thing ever as a result. I was hopefully she would know more about infertility - she was older so one would think that would mean more knowledgeable. I was wrong - again.

Maybe it's too much for me to be judging her too much too early, but in this type of situation it's half gut feeling and half what plan or advice she recommends. I didn't get a warm fuzzy on either of those. My gut told me "this isn't the one"... it was pretty obvious too because my husband said afterwards "I thought that if she told you to calm down one more time you were going to scream". I guess my body language is pretty outspoken.

I DID like the fact that she asked more about my female history than any other doctor ever has. It's amazing how reassuring that alone can feel. When she took a look at my chart and saw that this second round of clomid was, at the time, 52 days long, she said "that is unacceptable". She was baffeled as to why the clomid didn't work and asked why the last OB upped my dosage. (Remember that was done with the intention of it upping my ovulation date). I honestly think she thought I might have hyperstimulated and asked that we do an internal ultrasound that day. In the ultrasound room she took the time to show my husband what we were seeing - again my uterus looked good and I think she said my lining was at 5mm (not sure what this means for CD52 and she didn't really say much either).

Then she asked what ovary I still had intact. I am embarassed to say I can NEVER remember the answer to this question. I mean really - it's not like I dress it every day! For the record, if you must know, I have my left ovary (and apparently a little of my right still). I believe that she said I had around 5 or so follicules, but I don't remember for certain. I do know that she said there were several follicules that were not ovulatory follicules (were too small I think) and that there was one larger one, but it was oddly shaped. She said she thought this was because it was on the verge of being absorbed and there was nothing to worry about. She did confirm that there was no PCOS "string of pearl" style cysts present and thought that meant that the clomid was doing something, just not enough. She didn't know why this cycle was so wacky.

I asked about doing an HSG because I was concerned about my only tube being blocked (have read scar tissue from past surgery causing this). She said we shouldn't be looking into this right now because I'm not even ovulating or having a normal cycle. That we should first solve the ovulation issue and go from there. I didn't wholy agree with her - what if it IS blocked and all these months and clomid cycles are for nothing?

I also asked about whether we should have a post-coidal test done, since my cervical mucus was slim to none this time around (wasn't super great the first time either). She again stressed that we shouldn't do this now - it would be too premature because we don't even know if I'll actually ovulate and we would need to time the test around when we think I'm ovulating. I also didn't completely agree with her on this one either. My question is, isn't there another way to still do the test... like have me do the OPK testing and when I get a positive, schedule the post-coidal? Or, since OPKs detect an LH surge, wouldn't it make sense that if I get a positive OPK, I could come in to have bloodwork done to see if my LH is actually high and, if so, do the post-coidal then??

Of course that's assuming that we have Day3 bloodwork to measure from. Which we don't. In all fairness to her, I never mentioned this when she asked if I have had any bloodwork done. I just whipped out the results from the one test I had ((FSH 4.8, LH 18.3, TSH 1.58) which was actually done on CD13 by my OBGYN (3 OBs ago... can you believe I've been to some many different ones in the past 8 months!). That OB said "you can get it done any day", so I did. Honestly, at the time, I think she was simply looking for the FSH to LH ratio to determine if I had PCOS. As you can see it my LH levels are clearly more than 3x what my FSH is. I still think I should have these done again on the correct day - CD3.

She did, however, want to check my prolactin (which could help tell us if I have a pituitary abnormality) and estrodial levels (produced by the ovaries and the brain and will help tell us the baseline of estrogen in my body). The estrodial level is important in part because I have amenorrhea (lack of menses). Apparently estrogen monitoring during fertility therapy is also helpful to assess follicular growth. Seeing as how right now we have no way of knowing if the clomid is actually doing anything, that might be something to check out, though she certainly didn't suggest that. While I'm greatful she mentioned wanting these levels checked, she said I could get the blood work done anytime in the cycle - however, that simply isn't the case. Pretty much any infertility clinic website you read states clearly that estradiol (and others like FSH and LH) must be drawn on CD3. Prolactin can be any day of the cycle. The fact that she said any day makes me really doubt her expertise.

Oh, and I didn't mention that since my cycles are so unpredictable, and therefore my ovulation date is as well, she doesn't want to monitor follicule growth mid-cycle like she normally does. She said it would be "too difficult" and said to just wait it out to see what happens and to call her if it's day 40 and my period hadn't shown. I also don't agree with this decision. I don't really want to keep going with clomid if I have no measurable data with which to make a decision on what to do next cycle. Given the fact that doctors don't like to do clomid for more than 6 cycles (she also practices with this rule), this would mean I am getting ready to embark on my 3rd cycle and come out of it with very little new valuable data. That just doesn't sit right with me.

After talking it over with my very patient, and I do mean patient because I over-talk things, husband, he too agrees it would be silly to continue on the same path with no new info. We came up with few scenerios about what to do (since I'm now on my 4th progesterone pill and will start my period soon, which means that IF we want to immediately do another round of clomid, we'd be starting that on Dec 23, CD3). In the end, we decided I would call around this week to try and find another OBGYN who is more compassionate (I don't think me and this last lady would get along, let alone the fact that I don't think she's very knowledgable in infertility) and has more expertise in infertility. We also wanted to begin calling around to see how long it would take to get in to see a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) and how much an initial consultation would cost.

I had some extra time on my lunch today and was able to get a lot accomplished... drum roll please.... :)

New, new :) OBGYN Appointment Made - He does IUI's!
Dec 30 at 2:30 pm - I came across a local St. Louis baby forum with some OB recommendations and saw the name of a doctor located in O'Fallon, Missouri near Progress West Health Center. The poster said "he does IUI's". I was floored and thought there was no way! So I called and, yes, all three doctors in their practice do them. Not that that's what we will end up doing, but it does make me think that if they do a more advanced procedure like that, surely they know more than your average OBGYN. I have to admit - the only thing that bugs me is that he's a dude. I've never gone to an OB of the opposite sex, but, if he knows his stuff, then I guess it will be worth it. At least my husband will be there with me on the first appointment!

For your reference, the name of the doctor I'm referring to is:

Allied Associates OBGYN
830 Waterbury Fall Dr. O’Fallon, MO 63368 (near Progress West Hospital) (314) 569-2751
Dr. Craig Boyd - 21 yrs experience; board certified OBGYN; can do IUIs!


Appoinment Made with a Reproductive Endocrinologist!
Get this - Dec 23 at 9 am. I am so amazed that he could fit me in so soon! And, hold on to your pants, the consultation cost is: F-R-E-E!!!! Whoo hooo!!!!!!!!! I actually had to ask her to repeat herself and then, when I called back to make the appt, I asked the other girl who answered to confirm that. I just couldn't believe it. Especially since I had just got off the phone with another Infertility Clinic in the area who couldn't get me in until the end of January and who's initial appt cost would have been $300-400. Believe me, I'm still asking myself what the catch is with this other one I found. What's even cooler is that this is the same doctor that I listen to quite frequently on Haveababy.com Life's Online Infertility Talk Radio show. I always make note of who the guest was on the show when I take my own personal notes, in case you're curious what he has to say. It has been a great way to sort of get to know how he probably talks with his patients at the clinic and makes me feel much more at ease. Thus far, he seems to be very kind and knowledgeable.

Here is his information:

SHER Institute, St. Louis
456 N. New Ballas, Suite 101, Creve Coeur, MO 63141

Dr. Peter Ahlering
Obstetrics & Gynecology - 16 yrs experience

Sub-specialty: Reproductive Endocrinology

So... where does that leave us? Well, our tenative plan is to play some massive doctor toss-up. Meaning, on Dec 23 at 9 am I will go see the RE. We will probably talk about my history and he will recommend a battery of tests he'd want done before laying out a game plan. I am going to mention where we're at with our OB currently (getting ready to start a new round of clomid) and see if he has any opposition to that. If not, I will go the appointment that afternoon at 1pm with my current OB to have my CD3 ultrasound done prior to starting clomid that night. Then, on Dec 30 at 2:30 pm, CD10, I will go to the new OBGYN. We wanted to get in to see him before the time when I should hypothetically be ovulating so that if he wanted to do mid-cycle monitoring, we would still have time to do that. Though it just dawned on me that we'll be in Chicago at that time!! I can't believe I didn't think of that until now. Looks like we have something new to talk and think about. Oh well, not going to let it ruin my day. I am on cloud nine with the free consultation and the new OB am just going to trust that it will all work out. If we don't immediately do another round of clomid, then that might be ok, depending on what the new doctors think.

Ok, off to do some last minute Christmas shopping and grocery shopping for holiday parties. Should be fun :P

What Infertility Tests are REALLY Necessary?

Ok, I can't get enough! That radio show was so informative that I had to listen to another one this afternoon. This one is also VERY relavent because we are trying to decide next steps. My first thought was that we try and figure out what test are critical and get them done with our OB now, before moving on to an RE. After listening to the show and what the doctor had to say, I definitely am thinking of things a little differently. Please note that the notes below that I've taken are my (hopefully close) interprutation of the thoughts expressed by Dr. Dlugi and should not be taken verbadem. Please refer to the show to draw your own conclusions on what he has to say. The show can be found here.

Avoiding Unnecessary Testing and Treatments, Hosted by Kim Hahn talks to Alexander Dlugi, M.D., SIRM New Jersey. Dated 3/27/08. (located in the scrollable column on the left-hand side).

Which diagnostic tests are necessary before beginning advanced infertility treatments?

Male Tests
Semen analysis (key because 40% of infertility are male related, 10% combined factor). DNA testing of semen doesn't matter all that much, but costs a lot. FWIW, we don't know a lot about sperm because most types of testing kills the sperm. Infertility centers are probably doing it the same way (rather than a one-off lab), and is of good quality and understands results well. One-off labs are more unreliable. Can a semen analysis change with time? Depends on the situation. Results will fluxuate for sure, but if you find signifigant abnormalities, it will probably still be present. Retesting is sometimes encouraged.

Female Tests - "Old-Fashioned" (thru 80s to early 90s) Standard Testing...

1) HSG (hystosalopingogram - used to look at uterus and tubes).
2) post coidal test (cervical mucus, are sperm getting there)
3) endo bioposy (uterine lining changes) not done much anymore
4) laporsocopy (look inside pelvis and perform surgery if needed). Everyone got testing and then tailored treatment according to results.
5) Basal Body Temps (BBT) - To track ovulation.

Of these, it depends on couples history and what they are willing to consider (IVF, etc). If they're not willing or want to do IVF, then yes, it makes sense to do some of the below.

Thoughts about Diagnostic Testing and What is Actually Helpful

1) HSG: Hystosalopingogram - Used to look at uterus and tubes. Make sense to do.

However, if there is a problem found with an HSG, here are the senerios:
a) Uterus (polip, fibroid, etc) - fix is surgical
b) Tubes - surgery to fix tubes or IVF

10 years ago, recommendation would have been to operate, but because IVF rates are so high these days, that is the way to go. With the surgery, there is recovery time and it takes 1-2 years after surgery to be able to get pregnant, typically, and these problems also will come back. Therefore, surgery doesn't make much sense unless there is a mass or there is pain. Then it's totally different. If for fertility, there isn't much point.

2) Post Coidal Test: Checking cervical mucus to see if are sperm getting to uterus. Not done much anymore.

Problem with this one - you don't really know what the definition of "normal" is. Is a role where a couple uses clomid because it could dimish CM and make it hard to get pregnant. It's good to get one of these done at least to see what findings are. If test is abnormal, you do IVF with clomid, or something else. You will see treatment options come down to trying IUI with fertility meds or move to IVF. So, if you are going to do this anyway, why bother doing the tests if you're going to do the same treatments anyway. If there is a tubal issue, go directly to IVF.

3) Endometrial Bioposy (uterine lining changes) Not done much anymore.

4) Laprosocopy (look inside pelvis and perform surgery if needed). Case by case, but usually not useful.

To check for endo and tubal disease. A lot of people do this before going into something else, but why put people through surgery unless they're having pain. Again, it can take around 2 years before you know if it worked or not. If you're going to turn to IVF anyway, then why mess with it. Probably more successful for people who didn't have much going on, but for people with a lot going on, it's probably not extremely effective.

5) Basal Body Temperature chart and OPK kits - Recommendation to not bother doing those because they are useful for 1-2 cycles, but if you are having regular cycles and you check a chart a couple cycles and if LH surge is fairly consistant, you don't really need to do it. If you do this, you can fall into a trap every month and be more stressed. I'm not sure what his comment would be if you are NOT regular. My feeling is that it can't hurt really to go ahead and do it!

Blood Tests - Used when clinically relevant.

If finding dictates a change in course. A lot of places run the tests purely to get money. Clinically they don't make sense. Where are most blood test applicable? Knowing FSH, Thyroid, Prolactin are important.

Immunological issues should be screened if you have multiple miscarriages or if you've done 2-3 IVF cycles with no success then you should ask is there something else going on when embryo arrives in the uterus and it is being rejected, this is where immunological test are key. This is very
controversial. This doctor wasn't in agreement when he first started working with the SHER Institute. If you are going with IVF, you might want to rule this out and have this test. But, is it cost effective - how many people do you need to screen to rule things out. $1,000 for
screening usually.


New Procedures - Genetic Testing
Genetic testing of egg and embryos. If there are no sperm issues, the egg is doing most of the work. Now you can biopsy the polar body which is a mirror image of the egg, in terms of the genetic. You can see if the egg has all of its chromosomes. Good for fertility preservation and egg donors - you can go to egg repository and pick out the good ones.

The success rates of IVF depend on
if the 1) embryo is normal 2) is uterus receptive and able to accept an embryo and propagate a pregnancy. So it's basically, do we have a normal embroy. One of the reason why miscarriage happens is that the embryo isn't good.

More on Advantages of Skipping Some Tests
Will now get results quicker because these test might not be necessary. When they do test, they might have a mild male factor. Maybe try a few IUI's and then go to IVF. If you don't ovulate regular, yes then try infertility drugs. But, if you haven't found anything, most people would say to look towards clomid and injectables because it's easy to do and doesn't hurt and some get pregnant. The problem is that we dont' know what that really accomplishes. If you ovulate and have normal sperm, then drugs and IUI don't do much that you aren't already doing. The pregnancy rates for unexplained infertility with clomid IUI is only about 7% or up to 10% with injectables. People do it because they have been told to do so, or are afraid of IVF. A lot of patients ask for it, so it is often done. If IUI and drug induced cycles are done for 3-4 cycles and it hasn't worked, it's probably not going to work so you should move on. For most who choose this route, by the 3rd cycle people are fed up and end up moving to IVF.

For people who don't have mandated coverage for IVF, what do you do then? He would say that then it makes even more sense to go to IVF because if you add up all the potential costs throughout each of the procedures, it easily amounts to $1,500 to 2,000 per cycle if you divide by 7% success rate you get a high number - and then 6-7 K later and still not pregnant, you've already paid a lot and haven't tried IVF yet which yields a MUCH higher success rate of 70% or more.

Increase in pregnancy rates from clomid to clomid with injectables is small. Skip injectables move to IVF is becoming more of the rule.

In Summary
Endless months and money spent doing tons of treatments which might not work and will probably end with IVF anyway is a route that some are beginning to take. In my opinion, this doctor is leaning towards doing less tests and moving to IVF sooner.

Free Infertility Radio Show - PCOS and Infertility Treatments

Frustrated with my current cycle (I think it's a total bust, but I'll post more about that later), I have been surfing the net to try and find some answers. Answers for what to do next, what various tests and procedures cost, etc. I came across Haveababy.com's live one-hour online radio show, which I hadn't heard about before. It seems like they do a lot of interviews with reproductive endocrinologists, so it seems like a good opportunity to get some reputable info.

Their shows broadcast every Thursday at 10:00am PT/1:00pm ET. They also keep a database of past shows, so you can listen to the topics that are of real interest to you. I came across the following topic, which really hit home for me, and took a few notes while I was listening... sorry for the incomplete sentences and/or misspellings. :)

Goodbye PCOS, Hello Fertility Treatment, hosted Kim Hahn and Dr. Drew Tortoriello, Medical Director of SIRM-NY. Dated 10/30/08 (archived in the scrollable column on the left).

In PCOS patients, excess androgen test worthwile. Remember, just because you have a period, doesn't mean you ovulated. Even if women do ovulate, they might be at an increase for abnormal oocytes. Excess androgen causes problems with eggs. So, even with women who get pregnant with IVF, their risk for miscarriage is 2x more, due to the androgen excess their eggs are under.

Are OPK tests or OV Watch good for PCOS patients? Yes still good to use. LH elevation in pcos patients cause false positive in opks though, so it just depends on that particular person.

Mid-cycle Follicule Check via Ultrasound while on Clomid
Recommend starting with monitoring with ultrasound to find out when a follicule is developing to give better guidance. Rather than only do ultrasounds, start on clomid. Are people monitored a lot on clomid? Always recommend both scanning and clomid because you don't want to waste time if you don't have response to the clomid and you won't know unless you get your period or if it doesn't come, you then have to figure out what to do next. If clomid is working within 10 days of last pill you should see evidence of this by an enlarged follicule through an ultrasound. If it's not enlarged, then start new dose (higher) the next cycle.

If your partner has normal sperm, it's ok to not to IUI as the first option because the problem is due to anovulation in the woman. But, IUI's are good if you have unexplained infertility because clomid by itself and insemination by itself really didn't do much, but the two together have shown better results. IUI's are fairly inexpensive, easy to do, and invasive, so these combined treatments can be very benefitial.

Things that Mimic PCOS
1st thing - rule out other things that might mimic PCOS, like congenitial adrenial hypoplasia (when adrenial gland pump out excess androgens), cushings syndrome (too much cortosol), insulin resistance b/c 40-50% can be insulin resistance (not necessairly diabetic, but their body pumps out too much insulin to fight off the diabetis; an insulin problem might cause an ovulation problem.

PCOS and Metformin
With PCOS, should metformin be used together? Open for debate. Connection between the two was discovered by a guy named Nesslin. High androgen levels can be due to not ovulating. Metformin can bring androgen levels down. However, it shouldn't be exepected to work alone (without an ovulation inducing drug).

Clomid vs. Injectables
Why is clomid the best? Why aren't injectables even better than clomid? Related to heirarchy of treatments. Injectables are an option, but most people would start with clomid first because it's easier, shorter duration, cheaper and it works for about 70% of women. Clomid is also pretty gentle - as in you don't have to cancel a cycle most of the time because they don't produce too many follicules. 25-30% of each follicule turning into a baby.

Injectables cost more, and could cause a much more troublesome response, even with low dose because the produce too many follicules. It's an option for sure if clomid has failed. Also, sometimes if you do injectables you should strongly consider IVF because you control how many embroys go into the uterus. If you can just get a PCOS patient to ovulate you don't have too many other issues getting pregnant.

Increase in Miscarriage due to Excess Androgens Present
However, there may be an increased risk in miscarriage regardless of IVF, clomid, IUI.. because oocyctes have grown up with excess androgen, which does bad things to egg quality. If you're going to to injectables you should consider doing birth control or lupron injectables to bring down androgen levels for a month or so, so that you can have eggs that grow up in an environment without all the excess androgen. Lupron PCOS users have shown a reduced rate in miscarriage (though, I've read there can be bad side effects with Lupron).

Next Steps after Ovulating on Clomid, but no BFP
If you do about 4 cycles with clomid and are ovulating but don't get pregnant, then you should consider injectables with IUI, or move straight to injectables and IVF. Most people feel comfortable with that because there's not much difference between clomid and injectables (just ovulate in a different way).

Hyperstimulation Risks
Are these people at risk of hyperstimulating? It's rare with clomid only patients, but people using injectables DO have a higher risk. In IVF you usually are at a bit higher risk because you are trying to encourage as many eggs as possible because you can control how many go back in.

Excess Testosterone?
Having more testosterone - Does your body just create this or do you get it more for hormones or steroids (possibly in food). Likely no, it's just your body. Some studies do show DHEA supplements (a weak androgen which has quality of life benefits) encourage androgens, so you should avoid this if you have PCOS. Mostly genetic that we don't completely understand. Not many meds to bring those levels down except for things like Lupron and Birth Control, which only brings it down for a short time (while on the meds and shortly after).

Looks like I might ovulate after all :)

So, the newest series of events in the clomid round two saga is that the temperature rise (which made it look like it dipped) must have been a fluke due to my cold and I actually haven't ovulated, yet anyway. I had been going back and forth in my mind, really wishing and hoping it wasn't true and that I had ovulated, and figured it would be a good idea to just run my chart past my new doctor and see if she wanted to do a progesterone test. I did end up having it done and my results were that of an anovulatory cycle - 1.2.

But... Today is CD30 and I think I will ovulate any day now. I had my first positive OPK on Saturday and have had a positive every day since (3 days, not counting today, which I won't know until this afternoon). They say you could ovulate anywhere within 12-36 hours from either the beginning or end of your LH surge. So, again - we wait.

In the past week or so, I have continued to have side effects from the clomid. I had hot flashes about 4 or 5 days in a row, mostly in the evening. And then, the previous two days, I had been nauseous in the AM and in the PM. Yesterday I came home with a headache and sat down to eat supper, thinking that would get rid of it. As I was finishing my last bite, I was thinking "I feel like I'm going to barf if I eat this". I did some googling and it seems that some women experience nausea around ovulation time. Weird. Maybe it's not due to the clomid after all.

As with every cycle, you can't help but wonder what the next step will be if the current cycle doesn't bring a BFP. With this cycle, even though I haven't even met my new doctor, if we don't get pregnant, I believe she will want me to do at least a month of birth control to try and suppress the cysts that are present. I believe the idea is that we might be more successful if we can just get them to go away and try the clomid without all of that present. Someone did bring up the question - is there another TTC friendly way of doing that same thing, instead of doing BCP, where you have no chances of getting pregnant that cycle. Good point. It had crossed my mind once, but I forgot to look into it.... my initial thought was is there some regimen of hormones (customized based on your personal, current levels) that would get rid of them. I still need to google and ask my doctor about this, if we end up needing to go that route. If I do have to go with BCP, I wonder which particular one will be right for me in my circumstances (for example, one that is better about clearing your system so that we can TTC the next cycle).

I decided while I am writing this that I would look into the suppression alternatives now - why wait :) I came across a site that tates "The oral contraceptives suppress gonadotropins which support "functional cysts". So, if the idea is to suppress gonadotrophins, and that is the only way to get rid of cysts, then I don't think that it's possible to get pregnant. I think you need gonadotrophins to be released for the rest of the key hormones that encourage ovualtion to work. So, I'm betting that a BCP alternative is out of the question, but I will definately still ask. The worst that could happen is that I get a weird look from the doctor, and I'm used to that by now!

I also came across this, though, and now I'm wondering if BCP would even work. When asked if BCP or injectable progestins (DepoProvera) prevent the formation of ovarian cysts, Dr. Frederick R. Jelovsek replied "Oral contraceptives are known to block ovulation in women with polycystic ovarian syndrome as well as lower the circulating androgens which can cause excessive hair growth. They are also used as pretreatment to decrease cyst formation when giving LHRF for in vitro fertilization. Thus they can be used to lessen the risk of new ovarian cyst formation even though they will not suppress any currently existing cysts. Neither oral contraceptives nor injectable progestins totally suppress all follicle development but they do suppress large follicles in the range of 3.0cm." I'm so confused. I know you can't believe everything you read, on the internet especially, but I am very curious now.

Anyway, I need to stop and focus on the here and now. Please be praying that I ovulate soon!! :)

My body is crazy!

So, a few days ago I thought I might have ovulated. Thanks to a few good ttc friends, I realized I hadn't. While this bummed me out for sure, I was attempting to take things in stride. Yesterday we were too pooped and full from dinner (yes that happens with us married couples!) to do any BDing. Figuring it probably didn't matter all that much, we weren't super concerned, though in the back of my mind I knew we probably should soon just to be safe. Which, brings me to today. Another day of taking things in strides. I had a very productive and therapeutic Saturday cleaning house - yes, I even did windows! And later in the evening, I did some late-night shopping by myself, which was again, very good. When I got home, the house was empty and I had this overwhelming feeling of "how I wish I was a mommy right now".

In the midst of it all, I decided to make some fudge espresso brownies (yum!), which I bought at the store in haste after thinking this month was a flop. It occurred to me just then that the pains in my lower abdomen I had been feeling in the afternoon were still there and more strong even. The weird thing is that they're not "cramps" and they don't feel like they're coming from my ovaries... rather it's a low, central dull pain - the same heavy feeling when I am about to get my period. Ok, so again - weird, however, my husband reminded me that the doc mentioned something one of my ovaries being more in the center? Anyway... earlier in the day I took a pregnancy test - knowing it would be false, but I just figured what the heck. So, tonight, when the pain was getting stronger, I realized I hadn't done an OPK in the last couple of days. So... off to the bathroom I go and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a POSITIVE - a bright red positive OPK!! Holy bleep :) At this point I have no idea what my body is doing, but I can tell you that we don't have to be told what we need to be doing tonight. TMI, I know, but hey. Who's modest these days!:P

Baby dust, baby dust, baby dust!

Did I ovulate my first cycle on clomid?

I'm about ready to start begging. Seriously. Please pray for me! My temps have looked so good this month for the first time ever - thank you clomid! - and I am so hopeful for my temp to go up and stay up! I really hate to get my emotions caught up in this cycle, simply because I'm afraid it might not work out, but darn it I want to be excited. I want to feel gitty about the whole thing and in order to do that I have to get emotionally involved in the process. I really have been trying not to do that lately because I know it will only be harder on me, but when things look like their on the up and up, I can't help myself.

So, yesterday I was ecstatic and today I will be too and I'll just have to deal with whatever comes next and live with it! Here's my chart thus far... and my OPKs too, ending with today - CD19 (I'm wondering if the third test from the bottom (CD17) was positive?? Those are the dip in the cup ovulation predictor kit strips I purchased online at early-pregnancy-test.com, so I'm a little weary if they're working like they're supposed to.)