Friday, June 20, 2008

Please Lord... hear my call

The last day or so has been full of ups and downs. One minute I'm totally focused on gathering info and jotting down questions for my Drs appointment and the next I don't feel like doing a single thing - even sleeping seems taxing, as stupid as that sounds.

This morning after looking into our insurance coverage I found out, even though I pretty much figured, that it doesn't cover any infertility related testing or treatment. "41. for testing or treatment related to fertilization or infertility such as diagnostic tests performed to determine the reason for infertility and any service billed with an infertility related diagnosis." To Anthem and the State of Missouri - I officially despise you. And to think we actually moved a few years back from Illinois, a state that offers infertility treatment coverage. I certainly am not the first person who has encountered this, but it was
the first time that the financial aspect of it all set in and it lead me to tears.

Anyways... about a half hour ago, I went to the bathroom and... little TMI here... discovered a quarter sized glob of ewcm with blood streaks in it. It sounds so grose, but I starred at it because the blood looked like teenie tiny tadpoles at first. I'm sure I was just imagining that more than anything but it was odd. After reading, it seems this could be 1 of 3 things: sign of ovulation, sign of implantation, sign that AF is coming soon. If I was your average woman, I would be rooting or implantation, but at this point, I will take any one of the above as that means that I am somewhat normal. I'm going to do an OPK when I get home at lunch - hopefully that shows a spike in LH!

On my way to work this morning (my long 3 minute drive), I heard Casting Crowns "Praise you in this Storm" today. I love that song but at times like these it really means a lot to me and reminds me to keep my focus and put my faith in God to take care of this situation. Have a listen, if you haven't heard it before...

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