Friday, June 20, 2008

A Father's Day to remember

This was the first year that Father's Day has had a real impact on me. Sure, in the past this was something I'd share with my Dad but this day had never really hit home for me. For one, my Dad is in Iraq serving for the Army Reserves. It' s weird because I've never been extremely close to my Dad, but I miss him even more because of that. It was very hard to see him go back in February (my birthday oddly enough) because I feared that I might not ever get to have the kind of relationship I always wanted with him. This day was also huge for another reason... a reason I didn't even recognize until that day.

As we set in church that Sunday morning, listening to the pastor's sermon where he addressed men who "are fathers, are planning to be a father, or ever hope to be a father" my eyes filled with tears when Jay turned to me and said "maybe I'm becoming a father as we speak." What a heavy thing to take in. I keep telling him how I want so badly to "duplicate those eyes" and as much as I knew in my heart it hadn't happened, I just HAD to take a HPT that night. The possibility of me to be able to tell him he's going to be a daddy on a day like Father's day was too great to not try.

I'm sad to report that I didn't get the opportunity to say those words that day.



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