Today was the day. I decided to work from home in anticipation they would call with a late morning or early afternoon ET time. Might I add, last night was no fun. Between waking up from the weirdest dreams and feeling jittery awaiting my own personal "Christmas morning", it was restless to say the least. Even still, the day had arrived and I anxiously paced the house with phone in hand.
When the phone rang, I was told our embies were considered "early blasts." Apparently the clinic felt as though we should wait and do a day 6 transfer, vs a day 5 so that they could mature a bit more. What frustrated me was they had no additional details. No idea on the current count or quality. Nothing. I was nervous and a little upset, so Jay said he would call for more info.
I think what came next was so hard for me to handle because on Monday's day 3 fertilization report, we were told "they are still alive and are all grades 1 or 2". Even though, at the time, I didn't believe that wholeheartedly, it was what I hung onto. Maybe there really would still be TONS of them come day 5. We had even started conversations of how that could actually, in a weird way, complicate things because how would they choose what ones were the best or how would we feel to have that many frozen and possibly never be able to transfer them all. That's not something we probably have to be concerned about at this point.
1 - grade 1
1 - grade 2
8 - grade 3
I don't think I've cried that much in a long time. It was just shocking to me - the idea that that many had dropped off and the majority were of a lesser quality than 1s & 2s. I was worried that if we waited until day 6, we'd be gambling more than we were gaining. To me, at the time, we already had two that were obvious front-runners and that we should just do a 5-day of the 1 & 2 grades. I was afraid I would be mortified to find out we waited until day 6 and didn't have anything promising to transfer. I would rather have them not make it in me, then to die in the lab at this point in the game. I know that sounds somewhat weird and twisted, but there is a certain degree of connection that I just really need to feel like this cycle was a positive one, even if it doesn't result in a BFP.
Ok, so with those feelings in mind, we agreed it would be nice to know what the advantage would be to waiting one more day. Would we really be gaining more than we'd be risking loosing?
When he called back, they put him on hold and spoke with one of the embryologists. What he said was our grade 1 is currently what they refer to as "compacted" blastocyst. They actually think there is a chance it won't make it because of that, even though it's currently the best quality. As for all of the 3s, they are "expanded" and what they are looking for them to do is to improve over the next day and become 2, or better. I've been reassured by another fellow IVFer (thank you again!) that that very thing can happen. I also know it's possible for day 6 embies to become viable pregnancies. My friend with twins (lol. yes, I keep mentioning her), just transferred two grade 2s (I believe it was) on day 6 and both took beautifully. These women are my inspiration and my hope. Thank you girls!
After all of the drama this morning, I do feel better now that we know the facts. As the day progresses, I am becoming a bit more at ease. I know in my heart everything is out of our hands and that God is in control. We just have to have faith that everything will work out and we'll be at a good place for tomorrow's transfer. Ultimately, it would be fantastic to have additional blasts to freeze, but at this point, my biggest concern is to complete this cycle.
Best get caught up on all the work I've neglected so far today. I'm going to attempt to distract myself tonight as well. The wait really is almost the worst part.
Thanks everyone for continuing to follow our progress and for all your thoughts and prayers as we go into tomorrow's transfer. I'll update as soon as I hear more!