Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Looks like it will be a day 6 for us...

Today was the day. I decided to work from home in anticipation they would call with a late morning or early afternoon ET time. Might I add, last night was no fun. Between waking up from the weirdest dreams and feeling jittery awaiting my own personal "Christmas morning", it was restless to say the least. Even still, the day had arrived and I anxiously paced the house with phone in hand.

When the phone rang, I was told our embies were considered "early blasts." Apparently the clinic felt as though we should wait and do a day 6 transfer, vs a day 5 so that they could mature a bit more. What frustrated me was they had no additional details. No idea on the current count or quality. Nothing. I was nervous and a little upset, so Jay said he would call for more info.

I think what came next was so hard for me to handle because on Monday's day 3 fertilization report, we were told "they are still alive and are all grades 1 or 2". Even though, at the time, I didn't believe that wholeheartedly, it was what I hung onto. Maybe there really would still be TONS of them come day 5. We had even started conversations of how that could actually, in a weird way, complicate things because how would they choose what ones were the best or how would we feel to have that many frozen and possibly never be able to transfer them all. That's not something we probably have to be concerned about at this point.

As of this morning, we now have 9 embryos remaining.

1 - grade 1
1 - grade 2
8 - grade 3

I don't think I've cried that much in a long time. It was just shocking to me - the idea that that many had dropped off and the majority were of a lesser quality than 1s & 2s. I was worried that if we waited until day 6, we'd be gambling more than we were gaining. To me, at the time, we already had two that were obvious front-runners and that we should just do a 5-day of the 1 & 2 grades. I was afraid I would be mortified to find out we waited until day 6 and didn't have anything promising to transfer. I would rather have them not make it in me, then to die in the lab at this point in the game. I know that sounds somewhat weird and twisted, but there is a certain degree of connection that I just really need to feel like this cycle was a positive one, even if it doesn't result in a BFP.

Ok, so with those feelings in mind, we agreed it would be nice to know what the advantage would be to waiting one more day. Would we really be gaining more than we'd be risking loosing?

When he called back, they put him on hold and spoke with one of the embryologists. What he said was our grade 1 is currently what they refer to as "compacted" blastocyst. They actually think there is a chance it won't make it because of that, even though it's currently the best quality. As for all of the 3s, they are "expanded" and what they are looking for them to do is to improve over the next day and become 2, or better. I've been reassured by another fellow IVFer (thank you again!) that that very thing can happen. I also know it's possible for day 6 embies to become viable pregnancies. My friend with twins (lol. yes, I keep mentioning her), just transferred two grade 2s (I believe it was) on day 6 and both took beautifully. These women are my inspiration and my hope. Thank you girls!

After all of the drama this morning, I do feel better now that we know the facts. As the day progresses, I am becoming a bit more at ease. I know in my heart everything is out of our hands and that God is in control. We just have to have faith that everything will work out and we'll be at a good place for tomorrow's transfer. Ultimately, it would be fantastic to have additional blasts to freeze, but at this point, my biggest concern is to complete this cycle.

Best get caught up on all the work I've neglected so far today. I'm going to attempt to distract myself tonight as well. The wait really is almost the worst part.

Thanks everyone for continuing to follow our progress and for all your thoughts and prayers as we go into tomorrow's transfer. I'll update as soon as I hear more!

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Waiting August 12, 2009 at 3:14 PM  

Cathy, I know how frustrating the day 5 to day 6 wait can be- especially when your numbers drop! My embies were in the 'early blast' stage on day 5 too. Remember it's a GOOD thing- they are moving in the right direction and the extra day will give the embryologists an opportunity to choose the very BEST two to transfer.
All you need is one :)
I'm praying for you!!! Good luck tomorrow!!!

Maureen August 12, 2009 at 3:33 PM  

Oh Cathy, my heart goes out to you!! I know how tough this must be, but as Jenny said, don't give up hope...there is definintely a very good chance that tomorrow will be a wonderful day!! Lots of hugs and prayers!!

Kate August 12, 2009 at 7:03 PM  

I know it's a huge blow to go from 29 to 9 in 2 days time. I sure hope that some of the Grade 3's perk up by tomorrow, and that you've got 2 great blasts to transfer.
It's great that you were able to get the info straight from the embryologist, and it sounds very logical as to why they want to wait another day.
Keep positive, and keep on praying, and hope that God has the right plan for you.

Anonymous August 12, 2009 at 7:43 PM  

Cathy, I'm sorry to hear you are so down, but I believe very strongly that you will get pregnant and have some babies very soon. I know it's not "rational" since I don't really know you, but I am not moved by this current change in "circumstance". I have prayed and I know you've prayed and when 2 or more are in agreement, Matt 18:20 says that He hears. From the beginning, I felt like God would answer your prayers for a baby and I choose not be moved by the "change". I believe your prayer was already answered. So, please don't cry or worry, just pray and stand on faith. I think you are going to have some babies.

Fran August 13, 2009 at 4:31 AM  

Oh hun, I was thinking of you so much yesterday, and so your new post only this morning. Please please please don't be discouraged. Listen: we had 6 embryos all top grade on day 3, only 2 were good to transfer on day 5, so it's one third of the embryos. Flower I think had 21 eggs retrieved and 7 blast in the end. AGain one third. You are perfectly on track and sometimes the mebryos do require a bit longer, our clinic told us the exact same. You are in my prayers, can't wait to read your updates. What I would do if I were you though, is to get a full report from the embryologist on the development of your embryos, how many cells they had on day 3, did the show fragmentation etc. The general idea among scientists is that up until day 3, the embryos develop according the quality of he egg DNA, and only whe they do the transition to day 4 (morula) the male DNA comes into play. I have everything crossed that this will work out for you, but if it didn't, you should ask your clinic to do a DNA fragmentation test on Jay's sperm to see if there is a problem. Remember though, that even if there is a bit of fragmentation, the egg is able to repair it! Lots of love, Fran

Fran August 13, 2009 at 10:53 AM  

Checking in on you, you are in my prayers, Fran

Jendeis August 13, 2009 at 11:31 AM  

Sending you prayers of peace & strength.

Calliope August 13, 2009 at 11:39 AM  

so sorry for the continued delay- but it sounds like your embryologists are doing a great job and keeping a watchful eye on how things are evolving. Wishing you SO much luck with this cycle!

Chickenpig August 13, 2009 at 11:55 AM  

Please don't cry over embryo ratings! The amount that the doctor's DON'T know in this area is staggering. They rate them by their appearance, and appearance doesn't mean much as far as embryos are concerned. I have done 6 IVF cycles. Three of those cycles I transferred picture perfect grade 1 8 cell beauties. The other three times I transferred embryos that were grade 3 and 4's. Guess which embryos resulted in my children? I totally wrote off my FET where I transferred the grade 3 and 4. They were fragmented and one of them had only 3 cells. Well, those trashy embryos are now my twin boys, and they're doing just fine!

Best of luck with your blasts. Don't lose heart! (visiting from LFCA)

Gwynn August 13, 2009 at 1:31 PM  

I have to agree with Chickenpig. Please don't let the embryo ratings discourage you.

I had a three day transfer for my second IVF and, at the time, all I had was one 6 cell and two 4 cell embies. (And all of the embryos were just one step above poor quality! Massive fragmentation.)

I was so discouraged that I wanted to just chuck them all in the freezer and start a new cycle. (Edging in quickly on 41, I was terrified I was running out of time.) But my husband and RE talked some sense into me, and told me that we have made it this far, so let's just give it a shot and see what happens.

And guess what? One of those crappy quality embryos was my son. (Who ended up thriving and producing such good numbers that at first they thought I was carrying twins!) I couldn't be happier that everyone calmed me down during my meltdown and convinced me to move forward and think positively.

So, please, don't focus on the quality of your blasts. You never know which one is the golden egg. No one really does.

Anonymous August 13, 2009 at 8:03 PM  

Here from LFCA- you're in my thoughts. I hope it works out for you!

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