Lots of catching up to do! For me, a week of not writing seems like an eternity. I don't generally do posts with a spattering of thoughts, but here goes.
Mother's Day Weekend
Overall, we had a really nice weekend. The weather was beautiful so Jay and I decided to take advantage of living so close to lots of stores and restaurants. We stepped out our back door and walked about three minutes to get a bite to eat and then went to several stores before heading home. We were having a good time poking fun at ourselves because we must have looked like a couple hippies carrying our canvas grocery bags to and from each store. Who cares - we had fun!
On Sunday, we took our moms some New Guinea Impatiens and an adorable little potted plant hanger (we bought one for ourselves and love it so much we thought our moms would too!). After that, we spent some time at my grandparent's farm; ate lunch, talked and rode down to the creek. I thought I might have the chance to talk to my Grandma about our infertility stuff for the first time, and maybe tell my Aunt (I'm still not sure if she knows), but the opportunity didn't present itself.
Even though it wasn't "my" Mother's Day (hence the "UnMother connotation from Alice and Wonderland's UnBirthday), my mom surprised me with a note that I know truly was from the heart. I can't begin to explain how much this meant to me! With the note was a stuffed frog; a little guy I'm calling my infertility mascot! We had a good laugh because while he's cute, he seems to have a skin condition that won't allow his hair to grow. I said "he's the kind of cute only a mother could love" :P I have a feeling he will become my good luck charm as we approach and endure our IVF cycle.
Speaking of our cycle, It just occurred to me the other day that May isn't too far from being over. Next weekend is Memorial Day and then June is pretty much here. You might remember from several posts ago that I had a lot of "to-dos" for myself and for us. How's that all going... well, I've not started working out like I want to - so that's still in the works. I'm almost positive I'm signing up for an aerobics dance class at the community college two days a week starting in June. I know, it's so 80s of me, :P but I have more fun when I'm doing those type of things.
The eating healthier thing... we have been trying to avoid trans fats for a super long time now, so that doesn't count. So, what have we done? Little things honestly. We've made more of an effort to try and buy whole grain wheat bread and then not eat a lot of it. Ah yes, and fruit and veggies. I've definitely made a better effort to replace some of my cookies and chocolate for some tasty grapefruit, Fuji apples, sweet red grapes or a handful of strawberries (with no added sugar, thank you very much!). I've also been eating more carrots than normal. You know, simple smarter eating choices. Trying to buy organic if given the option, but not going out of my way at this point.
The house projects are slowly getting done. The house is due to be painted in the next month or so, our VUE got new front tires last week, we purchased a new computer (had to give my old trusty Mac the boot) and I'm beginning to finally burn DVDs of old home movies and photos from as far back as 2005. Once that's all done (so like maybe later this fall or winter, or perhaps once I am pregnant and have been given bed rest... sad that I am looking forward to that possibility, though I know I would eat my words!) I still have to work on scrap booking literally EVERYTHING from the last 8 year's we've been married. I'm beginning to question if that's even possible at this point. Yikes!
Oh, and as for our daily routine (sleeping in late and getting home late), well that's improved slightly. We did really good the first week and not as good the second. You know how it goes. I'd like to make a go of doing even better this week... we'll see.
I go from feeling really inspired and ready to get stuff done, to feeling blah. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by "what if" I continue to prepare my life for something that might not happen for us. In the end, I know that we'll be better off in these areas of our life, even if we don't have a successful IVF cycle, so I keep pushing myself through it.
Who said committing was easy?
We're still not technically locked in for the August IVF cycle. Our goal was to have this done by the first of June, so in reality we're not behind yet. I am, however, getting quite antsy! My in-house financial whiz (yes, my sweet husband) is putting the finishing touches on our new fancy financial spreadsheet which will help us feel 100% comfortable with committing to forking over the dough for the 2-cycle IVF package. As of now, we have already spent countless hours looking over the numbers, but I must admit I pushed for us to take one final look at everything so that I could sleep easier at night going into it. Aside from buying a home, this feels like one of the biggest investments we will ever make. Yes, in my eyes, this really is an investment, regardless of the outcome.