Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A love/hate relationship with hormones

Yesterday was a not-so-good day! For goodness sake I almost cried when my boss was going over a design I had done, over something that was very small and insignificant. This isn't normal people! I only hope this means that the Clomid is working it's magic. The remainder of the day didn't get much better, but I did try to make note of when I was overreacting in a situation and then change my reaction, but boy is that hard. I would say that I totally hate hormones, but I should really learn to love them and the power that they have on the human body. After all, the lack of functional hormones is pretty much what has led me to where I am today.

I'm sure hormones also played a part this past weekend - a situation where I would normally be happy and excited. I attended two parties where there were lots of people my age had young kids... you would think this wouldn't be a big deal, and usually I do just fine, but two days in a row and multiple people like that really got to me. It's tough being "normal" in social situations like that because it's just gets plain awkward, in terms of emotions and conversation.

And then, yesterday, I realized that all I have been doing for the past several months is waiting for the next day - the next cycle - the next month when we get pregnant. No wonder this year has flown by. I can't promise that I won't continue to look forward to another opportunity to have this happen for us, cause that would just be a lie, but I do really want to try and make more of an effort to enjoy life today. Fall, my favorite time of the year, will be here in the next couple of weeks and I really, really want and need to just relax a little and be thankful for everything that I have.

On a more uplifting note, there are other signs that the Clomid might be working, but I just don't want to write it in fear that it might jinx the whole thing. So, for now, I wait and will just have to keep you posted! :)

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